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"I totally recommend that anyone who wants to really understand BPD buy A.J. Mahari's ebooks and audio programs. Along with all her stuff on the web they are even more insightful and informative. After purchasing A.J.'s products I did some life coaching with her too. A.J. doesn't just write about BPD, she has lived it. She has lived both sides of it. She is an amazing life coach too. With A.J.'s support I am making my way through the pain and grief of having loved someone with BPD and coming to terms with the reasons for the relationship and my need to let go."

-- Rick Meyers, Scotland

"I didn't think anyone else could possibly know or understand what I was going through. I also didn't think anyone could be so compassionate and patient with me as A.J. Mahari was as my life coach. She gave me support, information, and tools. Tools that have enabled me to truly find myself and to set and achieve my goals. Thanks so much for everything A.J.! -- Mandy"

-- M., Ontario, Canada

"If you want to know more about Borderline Personality Disorder, as a borderline, or non borderline, I totally recommend that you buy A.J. Mahari's 3 Core Wound of Abandonment Ebooks. I have searched all over the web, read everything I could, including lots of other books and nothing was even close to as helpful to me as A.J.'s insightful explanation of abandonment in BPD. Finally, I understand.Thank you A.J. for the incredible gift of the insight you share that you learned through your own life experience."

-- Katy Gilchrist, Alberta, Canada

Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People - Toxic Relationships

Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People - Toxic Relationships

Price: $11.99

Coping with Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People Generally and During the Holidays - Toxic Relationships

Holidays tend to bring out the worst in difficult, toxic and/or abusive people. Holidays tend to challenge those who are in relationships, friendships, or who have family members who do not know how to relate in consisent or healthy ways.

© A.J. Mahari, December 2008

Published by PhoenixRising Publications

In this audio program, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality of coping with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people generally with a focus on the reality that holidays bring out the worst of the worst in toxic relating.

Mahari examines the reasons why so many people feel trapped in what are toxic, abusive, unhealthy relationship or friendships and what can be done to better understand how you can create the change you need, want, and desire in your life.
Mahari shares her insight as to why people end up stuck in these types of relational patterns and how you can know someone is difficult toxic and/or abusive. What if you have doubts? What if you think this person will change? Can you help this person be who you want them to be? Can you create intimacy with a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person? How can you cope with them, especially during the stressful times associated with holidays.

Mahari also talks about how you can identify the main signs that indicate someone is a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person.

Holidays intensify our feelings and often bring with them the ghosts of days - painful days gone by - that cry out from deep down inside for some expression and some relief. Holidays take us out of our every day routines. Culture in society, generally, and/or religious tradition often threaten to trap us in unrealistic expectations of dreams, wishes, and/or desires that pull strongly upon our heart strings. It is important, especially at holiday times, to be sure to make decisions about who you will spend time with and how you will strategize to cope with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people by relying on your head (reasoning) to make healthy choices - as opposed to allowing your heart to take the lead.

Tracks in this audio program include:







  • Track 1: An examination of the effect of relationships with difficult toxic and/or abusive people - fear, obligation, and guilt. The impact and consequences of unrealistic expectations that holidays can enmesh us even more in long-standing dysfunctional painful patterns of relating.
  • Track 2: How to identify the difficult toxic and/or abusive person.
  • Track 3: Intimacy - What it is and what it isn't. Can it exist with a difficult toxic and/or abusive person?
  • Track 4: Coping Strategies and Understanding Choices and How to Find Personal Freedom from a toxic relational dynamic.


All Audio Programs are in mp3 format. All Ebooks are in PDF format. Audio Programs and Ebooks are available for electronic download only upon purchase.

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Quotes From A.J. Mahari


"Are you confused? Are you in pain? Do you find yourself overly-focused on the person with BPD? Are you trying to make sense out of the borderline's shifting moods or contradictory behaviour? I have been there. I know what it takes to break free on the other side of BPD. Breaking free from the BPD maze means getting back in touch and in tune with yourself."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "Breaking Free From The BPD Maze - Recovery For Non Borderlines"

"There are 10 Key Facts at the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder that every non borderline needs to understand. To begin facing the facts of BPD and what it means to the non borderline, you have to first know what the facts really are. Not just the traits that define BPD but the facts of what the experience is and why it is so painful for family members, loved ones, and relationship partners."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "Facing 10 Key Facts About BPD - For Non Borderlines"

"The inner child in those with BPD, due to the pain that borderlines have abandoned, may well feel overly controlled, abandoned, silenced, and neglected. The borderline's inner child is in tremendous pain and it is also the gateway to the lost self of the borderline."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD - Getting in Touch With the Inner Child"