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"I am in a relationship with a borderline. I was at my wits end and in so much pain. I was so confused. Then I purchased and read A.J. Mahari's 3 Ebooks for Non Borderlines and I found her amazing first-hand knowledge and insight life-changing and so emotionally freeing. I feel like I owe my emotional peace and freedom to you A.J., thanks so much for all you do and all you share to help others."

-- Mike Miller, Chicago, U.S.A.

"I didn't think anyone else could possibly know or understand what I was going through. I also didn't think anyone could be so compassionate and patient with me as A.J. Mahari was as my life coach. She gave me support, information, and tools. Tools that have enabled me to truly find myself and to set and achieve my goals. Thanks so much for everything A.J.! -- Mandy"

-- M., Ontario, Canada

"A.J., your ebook about Verbal Abuse helped me to realize so much. I needed to know that I was placing myself in danger and that verbal abuse is not something to minimize. I also needed to know that toxic relating isn't love. Thanks so much for writing and making that ebook available."

-- Duke P., Ireland

Toxic Relationships - Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People

Toxic Relationships - Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People

Price: $11.99

Coping with Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People Generally and During the Holidays - Toxic Relationships Holidays tend to bring out the worst in difficult, toxic and/or abusive people. Holidays tend to challenge those who are in relationships, friendships, or who have family members who do not know how to relate in consisent or healthy ways.

© A.J. Mahari, December 2008

Published by PhoenixRising Publications

In this audio program, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality of coping with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people generally with a focus on the reality that holidays bring out the worst of the worst in toxic relating. Mahari examines the reasons why so many people feel trapped in what are toxic, abusive, unhealthy relationship or friendships and what can be done to better understand how you can create the change you need, want, and desire in your life. Mahari shares her insight as to why people end up stuck in these types of relational patterns and how you can know someone is difficult toxic and/or abusive. What if you have doubts? What if you think this person will change? Can you help this person be who you want them to be? Can you create intimacy with a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person? How can you cope with them, especially during the stressful times associated with holidays. Mahari also talks about how you can identify the main signs that indicate someone is a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person. Holidays intensify our feelings and often bring with them the ghosts of days - painful days gone by - that cry out from deep down inside for some expression and some relief. Holidays take us out of our every day routines.

Culture in society, generally, and/or religious tradition often threaten to trap us in unrealistic expectations of dreams, wishes, and/or desires that pull strongly upon our heart strings. It is important, especially at holiday times, to be sure to make decisions about who you will spend time with and how you will strategize to cope with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people by relying on your head (reasoning) to make healthy choices - as opposed to allowing your heart to take the lead.

Tracks in this audio program include:

  • Track 1: An examination of the effect of relationships with difficult toxic and/or abusive people - fear, obligation, and guilt. The impact and consequences of unrealistic expectations that holidays can enmesh us even more in long-standing dysfunctional painful patterns of relating.
  • Track 2: How to identify the difficult toxic and/or abusive person.
  • Track 3: Intimacy - What it is and what it isn't. Can it exist with a difficult toxic and/or abusive person?
  • Track 4: Coping Strategies and Understanding Choices and How to Find Personal Freedom from a toxic relational dynamic.

All Audio Programs are in mp3 format. All Ebooks are in PDF format. Audio Programs and Ebooks are available for electronic download only upon purchase.

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Quotes From A.J. Mahari


"Hope for change and recovery in a loved one with BPD often causes non borderlines to compulsively focus on the borderline and try to fix him or her in ways that only increase the pain, suffering, and confusion for the non borderline. When is hope really hope? When is hope false hope? I talk about the different faces and consequences of hope. Hope is often one of the biggest hooks and traps for the non borderline and I explain why."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "The Puzzle and Mystery of Hope on the Other Side of BPD"

"What is in the way - is the way. If you have Borderline Personality Disorder it is the fundamental absence of a known self that sits at the very core of your pain, anger, and your rage. It is your rage that stands between your borderline pain and suffering and your recovery. Your lack of a known and defined self is what is in your way."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "Rage And BPD"

"The central dilemma of the non borderline presents you with a quandary that in and through its predicament reveals a puzzle that you then feel compelled to solve. The what-to-do conundrum is unearthed. Your pain, the pain of loving someone with BPD compels you to want to help and to want to fix the problem to restore a sense of connectedness that continues to be puzzling, painful, and illusive. Where is love in all of this?"

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Dilemma on the Other Side of BPD" - Borderline Love?