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"I didn't think anyone else could possibly know or understand what I was going through. I also didn't think anyone could be so compassionate and patient with me as A.J. Mahari was as my life coach. She gave me support, information, and tools. Tools that have enabled me to truly find myself and to set and achieve my goals. Thanks so much for everything A.J.! -- Mandy"

-- M., Ontario, Canada

"I would highly recommend A.J. Mahari as life coach especially for those who are non borderline. I worked with A.J. over the course of 6 months as I struggled to end my relationship with my BPD girl friend. A.J. was compassionate, supportive, and so patient with me. I don't think I'd be where I am today without A.J.'s support."

-- Marty Green, Ontario, Canada

"I bought A.J. Mahari's ebook, on Loneliness. Wow! So much insightful and informative stuff. I had not ever really thought about there being anything positive about loneliness. You taught me so much. I have been able to make some wonderful changes in my life because your ebook helped me to learn that the place to start was with my attitude toward and thoughts about loneliness. Thanks so much A.J. and may God continue to bless all the work that you do."

-- Sue Johnson, Australia

Splitting in Borderline Personality - Loved Ones

Splitting in Borderline Personality -  Loved Ones

Price: $22.99

Splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder
- An Understanding for Loved Ones

Loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often grapple to understand this central manifestation of BPD.

In the face of the reality of the splitting that is a hallmark of BPD, loved ones will benefit from coming to realize what the cycles of idealization and devalution that are the result of the cognitively distorted black-and-white all-or-nothing polarized thinking of those with Borderline Personality Disorder.

It is not possible to rescue someone with BPD from BPD or from the defense mechanism of splitting that is central to BPD. It is important to learn how to cope with the inconsistent reality of the emotional roller coaster of being split by someone with BPD into either and all-good idealized category or an all-bad devalued category.

In this audio program, A.J. Mahari, offers loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder insight and understanding about the central defense mechanism of splitting in BPD and what that means for relationships. Mahari also talks about the importance of loved ones learning to radically accept what borderline splitting really is and means in terms of who the person with BPD in your life really is and/or isn't.

Coming to terms with this understanding and insight will make it clear to you how and why you cannot rescue someone with BPD and what that really means for you and what it means for relationships.

Loved ones of those with BPD need to radically accept and surrender to the reality that they are powerless to effect much desired change and/or healing in their borderline loved ones.

Tracks in This Audio Program include:

Track 1:  The Roots and Anatomy of Borderline Splitting
Track 2:  The Powerlessness of Loved Ones to Rescue a person with BPD
Track 3:  Whose problem is it really? Why does it feel like your fault?
 Track 4: Radical Acceptance of the Powerlessness to Change or Control Borderline Splitting
 Track 5: Splitting and the Non Borderline's Experience of BPD - What About You?

All Audio Programs are in mp3 format. All Ebooks are in PDF format. Audio Programs and Ebooks are available for electronic download only upon purchase.

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Quotes From A.J. Mahari

"The central dilemma of the non borderline presents you with a quandary that in and through its predicament reveals a puzzle that you then feel compelled to solve. The what-to-do conundrum is unearthed. Your pain, the pain of loving someone with BPD compels you to want to help and to want to fix the problem to restore a sense of connectedness that continues to be puzzling, painful, and illusive. Where is love in all of this?"

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Dilemma on the Other Side of BPD" - Borderline Love?

"At the heart of the core wound of abandonment in BPD and its impact are many factors. Central among these factors however is the pain of loss. The pain of abandonment. The loss of authentic self."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "Understanding BPD - The Lost Self - The Impact of the Core Wound of Abandonment"

"The collective experiences compiling in the very young infant are forming an internal representation of the world. The core wound of abandonment results in the destruction of the emerging authentic self. It destroys the very essence of the developing self. Emotional growth and development are arrested as the result of failure to master early childhood developmental phases."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Legacy of Abandonment in BPD"