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Testimonials


"I would highly recommend A.J. Mahari as life coach especially for those who are non borderline. I worked with A.J. over the course of 6 months as I struggled to end my relationship with my BPD girl friend. A.J. was compassionate, supportive, and so patient with me. I don't think I'd be where I am today without A.J.'s support."

-- Marty Green, Ontario, Canada

"I just wanted to let you know, A.J., how helpful your ebooks and audio programs have been to me. Thanks for all the hard work you do and for putting yourself and your own painful experience out there as gifts to those still trying to find their own way."

-- Donald S., U.S.A.

"Listening to A.J.'s Audio Program, "Breaking Free From the BPD Maze - Recovery For Non Borderlines" has really changed my entire way of thinking. I was married to a man with BPD and A.J.'s wise words in the audio were just what I needed to finally make the decision to take my life back."

-- Mary Redmond, U.S.A.

Splitting in Borderline Personality - Loved Ones

Splitting in Borderline Personality -  Loved Ones

Price: $22.99

Splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder
- An Understanding for Loved Ones


Loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often grapple to understand this central manifestation of BPD.

In the face of the reality of the splitting that is a hallmark of BPD, loved ones will benefit from coming to realize what the cycles of idealization and devalution that are the result of the cognitively distorted black-and-white all-or-nothing polarized thinking of those with Borderline Personality Disorder.

It is not possible to rescue someone with BPD from BPD or from the defense mechanism of splitting that is central to BPD. It is important to learn how to cope with the inconsistent reality of the emotional roller coaster of being split by someone with BPD into either and all-good idealized category or an all-bad devalued category.

In this audio program, A.J. Mahari, offers loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder insight and understanding about the central defense mechanism of splitting in BPD and what that means for relationships. Mahari also talks about the importance of loved ones learning to radically accept what borderline splitting really is and means in terms of who the person with BPD in your life really is and/or isn't.

Coming to terms with this understanding and insight will make it clear to you how and why you cannot rescue someone with BPD and what that really means for you and what it means for relationships.

Loved ones of those with BPD need to radically accept and surrender to the reality that they are powerless to effect much desired change and/or healing in their borderline loved ones.

Tracks in This Audio Program include:

Track 1:  The Roots and Anatomy of Borderline Splitting
Track 2:  The Powerlessness of Loved Ones to Rescue a person with BPD
Track 3:  Whose problem is it really? Why does it feel like your fault?
 Track 4: Radical Acceptance of the Powerlessness to Change or Control Borderline Splitting
 Track 5: Splitting and the Non Borderline's Experience of BPD - What About You?

All Audio Programs are in mp3 format. All Ebooks are in PDF format. Audio Programs and Ebooks are available for electronic download only upon purchase.

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Quotes From A.J. Mahari


"Hope for change and recovery in a loved one with BPD often causes non borderlines to compulsively focus on the borderline and try to fix him or her in ways that only increase the pain, suffering, and confusion for the non borderline. When is hope really hope? When is hope false hope? I talk about the different faces and consequences of hope. Hope is often one of the biggest hooks and traps for the non borderline and I explain why."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "The Puzzle and Mystery of Hope on the Other Side of BPD"

"The central dilemma of the non borderline presents you with a quandary that in and through its predicament reveals a puzzle that you then feel compelled to solve. The what-to-do conundrum is unearthed. Your pain, the pain of loving someone with BPD compels you to want to help and to want to fix the problem to restore a sense of connectedness that continues to be puzzling, painful, and illusive. Where is love in all of this?"

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Dilemma on the Other Side of BPD" - Borderline Love?

"There are 10 Key Facts at the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder that every non borderline needs to understand. To begin facing the facts of BPD and what it means to the non borderline, you have to first know what the facts really are. Not just the traits that define BPD but the facts of what the experience is and why it is so painful for family members, loved ones, and relationship partners."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "Facing 10 Key Facts About BPD - For Non Borderlines"